Fighting Hate with Confidence


Last week I bared my soul, and I guess you can say my body, in a very personal post about sex and self-confidence. I must say that the post left me feeling a little vulnerable and more sensitive than usual.



Reading comments from both men and women trying to breakdown my spirit, judging my character and calling me all kinds of names was something I was completely prepared and ready for.  Let's just say it's part of the job.


However, what I wasn't prepared for was the flood of emotions that ran through me when a young reader shared her story of being bullied at school because of her weight. 


Unfortunately, for many of us this is not a new story. We experience this day in and day out, in the news, in the fat memes on social media and in the hateful comments on sites of plus size influencers like Tess Holliday and Ashley Graham. 


Upset, frustrated and just truly emotional, that night I thought long and hard about the advice I wanted to give my young reader.  So with that in mind, I came up with the following tips on how to use your confidence to battle the bullies, the fat shammers and the overall haters in your life. 

Step 1:

You are amazing! Remind yourself daily that you are great, beautiful and unique. Yes, if you read my last post then you know how important this mantra is for me. And yes, it might seem silly but just do it! Trust me on this one! Change the thoughts in your head and soon enough your heart will follow.

Step 2:

Do it for you! If you want to change something about yourself, do it for you and only you. As a chronic yo-yo dieter, I know everything about loosing weight for all the wrong reasons. One year it was to get the attention of the guy I liked, the next it was to crush the ego of an ex, next it was for someone's wedding.  Never was it just for me. It took me a long time to realize that changing myself for others does not work. 


Step 3: 

Celebrate the amazing person that you are!  Ladies, you are more than a size 22. Sit down and make a list of all of the amazing qualities that make up who you really are. Maybe you are an incredible artist or a great dancers. Maybe you are a fantastic mom or a tech wiz. Whatever it is, write it down and celebrate it. You are more than the size of your jeans!

Step 4:

Express who you are through your passions!  For me fashion has been my strongest catalyst for finding and expressing my true creativity. For you it might be different. Whatever it is, do it and show the world your cool self.

Step 5:

Own it!  It is very difficult to break someone who completely owns who they are. Words are just words. Fat, cow, disgusting, slut, are just words that are only powerful when we internalize them and give them power. Strip these words of their strength in your life and you disarm the haters. 


Dress: Fashion to Figure (sold out – similarsimilarsimilar); Bag: Aldo (sold out – similarsimilarsimilar)

So ladies, hate will always exist but armed with love and self confidence I am ready to take on any fool that may come my way. 

Now …. on to the giveaway!!  And the winner of the "I love you" giveaway is … drum roll please…..






A huge thank you goes out to all of the amazing women that entered my "I love you" giveaway. Everyone who entered will receive a complimentary 30 minute style session and 50% off their first 2 hour session. Contact me at with your instagram handle to claim your prize and/or discount. 


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