My sexiness is not dependent on you!

It's not you – it's me he said. And there I stood with a full face of makeup, my sexiest piece of lingerie and tears streaming down my face. Lost, sad and confused. Was he leaving because I was fat? Did he no longer find me sexy? I looked in the mirror and all I saw was rolls, stretch marks, butterfly veins and a growing double chin. All of a sudden I forgot about all the problems that we had and the constant arguments. All I could focus on was how I failed as a woman.  Maybe I should have worn more makeup, worked out more or satisfied his sexual desires every time he asked. Maybe then he wouldn't have left me.  How did I cause this? It's not you, it's me? But was it really you?

Sasha Cami & Ribbon Panty Set

You see ladies, for a long time my self worth, how I felt about myself and my sexiness was all dependent on him. It all depended on how he looked at me in the morning, if he said I was beautiful and if he could get it going at night. Growing up in a society focused on male satisfaction I knew the importance of honing my sensuality. But unfortunately, somewhere down the path of self acceptance my views of sensuality and sexuality warped. Somehow I went from the girl who celebrated the luscious curves God gave her to the girl who only love them when he did.  The moment he no longer wanted or needed them it meant fixing in me what was wrong whether it was getting on the newest crash diet or buying the best body shaper around.  How did I reach this point? Honestly I am not sure. But somehow I lost myself. And so there I stood once again wondering what I could do to make him desire me and come home. 

Josephine Leopard Print Chemise

Today I think back at that moment two years ago.  Today I stand here, 30 pounds heavier with a lot more stretch marks and a few extra rolls. Today I stand here with a smile on my face and with a little sexy number from Adam & Eve thinking back at that moment.  I think about the journey I've been on and how today I can stand here dressed in lingerie, a full face of makeup and feeling sexy as heck for no one else but myself.  Yes, I will admit, bae did enjoy shooting this post but did I do this for him, nope! I did this one for me. I did this one for the girl who has always struggled with her weight. For the girl who used body shapers and great angles to shoot that perfect selfie.  I did it for that girl who cried two years ago because he no longer desired her.  I did it for the girl who lost her way and forgot that her sexiness was her own.

Ladies, I am here to tell you that don't need to wait until that special person comes into your life to get a little sexy number. You don't need to wait for him acknowledge you to book that sexy boudoir photo shoot. And you don't need to wait for him to tell you that you're sexy to feel it and know it in your soul. I am here to tell you that you are. Scars, weight, rolls, and marks – you are sexy. And your sexiness is not dependent on him!

Silky Satin Lovers Dream

About my look:

I know that not everyone is about the uber sexy and exposed look so for my shoot I wanted to pick three unique and individual pieces. First I will say I was shocked when I learned Adam & Eve actually carried plus size lingerie. I was even more shocked when I saw that the options were pretty diverse. From super duper sexy to more tamed and covered. Now in full disclaimer, I carefully reviewed the size chart for many and their items I liked and they varied greatly. I was a little nervous about fit so I opted for the largest size available in all of the items selected and I will say that for the most part the stretch was very generous. Below you will find my individual thoughts on each garment featured in this post.

First up: Silky Satin Lovers Dream

Ladies, this was one of my favs! I ordered this little number in a 3x/4x and I would say it’s probably ideal for a size 18/20. I love that this beautiful chemise had fully adjustable straps and was soft to the touch. I loved this because I felt it was easy and simple. I could comfortably wear this around the house or to bed, plus the lace panels made it very sexy without feeling overly exposed. Sometimes when investing in lingerie it feels like a one hit wonder but not with this one. This is something I will be reaching for often.

Next: Sasha Cami & Ribbon Panty Set

This set felt super sweet and flirty. I went with a size 3x/4x and on the top I felt it was a little large. I had to alter the traps to keep the girls in place. I loved, loved, LOVED that the undies had ties on the sides. And the hot pink color just made me feel super sassy and playful. 

Last but not least: Josephine Leopard Print Chemise

This was the most versatile piece of the three I purchased. Yes I wore this to bed but also wore it out with jeans for a super sexy night out on the town.  I love it when something can serve double duty. I also went with a size 3x/4x and felt it was perfect in the cup size but had a lot of stretch throughout the body. This could easily work for a larger size diva who wants something sexy-lisous but still wants to feel a little covered. 

Looking to pickout something special for yourself? Make sure to check out the full selection of Adam & Eve lingerie and use code: SUITS for 50% off + free shipping on your first order!

There you have it ladies. I hope this post helped you see that your sexiness is dependent solely on one person – YOU!

How are you honing your sexiness?

The following post was sponsred by Adam & Eve but all the thoughts, experiences and opinions are my own.

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  • Christine
    May 1, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    Love your confidence! Good for you because no woman should have any self doubt. Love yourself to the fullest!

    • Darlene
      May 1, 2017 at 1:51 pm

      Thank you so much. The self confidence journey is just that a journey and I am so thankful for the process.ย 

  • Grace Dela Cruz
    May 1, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    Yasss girl! I LOVE the confidence! It is such a wonderful reminder, the importance of self love. <3

    • Darlene
      May 1, 2017 at 1:56 pm

      Yes! It is something that is so easily put to the side at times.

  • Laura
    May 1, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    I too have been in that place mentally…and not too long ago. What had I done wrong that he didn't want me enough, that he had wanted the other woman? Was I not good enough to him, for him. The truth that I discovered though through my healing was that it really was him, he was the broken one. I had been good enough to him, too good to him and not good enough to myself. I deserve someone that will cherish and love me for everything that I am and am not. You are absolutely stunning and don't ever let anyone (including yourself) tell you you aren't! 

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:35 am

      I had been good enough to him, too good to him and not good enough to myself. – Yes!!! This is so true! ย Thank you so much for the support.

  • Shiduna
    May 1, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    Boom, his loss and another's gain! You are working those outfits! Love it!!!!

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:35 am

      Yes girl!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you for the support.

  • Jennifer Morales
    May 1, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    Thanks for sharing your confidence. You look amazing! What makes you sexy is your attitude.  You are an inspiration. 

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:35 am

      Thank you so much Jennifer.ย 

  • Drama
    May 1, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Very uplifting post.  Keep your confidence going & encouraging others to do the same!

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Thank you so much!!

  • Candace
    May 1, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    I'm with Grace, your confidence is beaming in this post! I commend you on embracing who you are and not doing like others. You are certainly gorgeous and sexiness defintiely does not begin with any man; it begins with the being within ourselves. You look great in that lingerie too girl. They were made for you ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Aww thank you so much Candace!

  • Style & Life by Susana
    May 2, 2017 at 4:24 am

    Girl, you are  GORGEOUS!!!! I love your smile and amazing energy!!! YOU are an inspiration!!!! Self confidence is so hard on any size (I suffer from it, true!!). You are so inspiring!!!! x

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:39 am

      Thank you so much Susana. The reality is that this a struggle we as women face no matter if we are big, small, young or old.  Thank you so much for the support.

  • GirlVsCity
    May 2, 2017 at 7:25 am

    This post is so relateable. Girl, you do you. I am so glad that I have stumbled onto your blog.

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:31 am

      Yay!! Thank you. Life is short and we can’t ย waste our time on others.

  • Elizabeth Allcock
    May 2, 2017 at 7:26 am

    You look fabulous & great post! You look so confident! 

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:31 am

      Thank you hon!

  • Phoem Ponce
    May 2, 2017 at 9:28 am

    I love your post! I swear! Really… "I did it for the girl who lost her way and forgot that her sexiness was her own." <- love that sentence. It is really us who will define how sexy we are. Thanks for this post!

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:30 am

      Yes!!! Thank you so much for reading it and supporting.ย 

  • JM Kayne
    May 2, 2017 at 10:17 am

    Wow! I honor you for being brave and bold enough for this post! I love your confidence and you slay it gurl! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

     

    I love the pink one! ๐Ÿ’—

     

    God bless!

    JM Kayne ๐Ÿ’š

    • Darlene
      May 2, 2017 at 11:30 am

      Thank you so much hon. Its been a journey but I am hoping my story will help someone else.

  • Candy
    May 2, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    You look so happy and amazing! I really like the baby-doll sasha cami & ribbon set on you. It fits you perfectly and the design is so cute and flirty ๐Ÿ™‚  

    • Darlene
      May 4, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      Isn’t it so cute? I loved it. Thank you Candy!

  • Cassidy's Adventures
    May 2, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    Holy cow I absolutely loved this post! You are beautiful and it radiates from your face! And I love your confidence! I think we all could aspire to be more like you!

    • Darlene
      May 4, 2017 at 12:44 pm

      Thank you so much Cassidy!! XOXO

  • Shasha
    May 2, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    Girl, you look fabulous! The pink lingerie set is definitely my fave, that color looks great on you! I loved reading this post. I agree that self-love is always the best love and at times we can lose sight of that. Thank you so much for being so open and honest. Keep shining doll! 

    • Darlene
      May 4, 2017 at 12:43 pm

      Thank you Shasha. I loved the color of the pink as well and the style was super cute.

  • Chrissy
    May 3, 2017 at 2:14 am

    Yeeeeeesssssss girl! Loving your self-confidence! I used to feel like that a couple years ago, but I'm so glad that we both are in a better place. x

    • Darlene
      May 4, 2017 at 12:42 pm

      Yes me too. It takes time but the healing process is an amazing journey.