It's not you – it's me he said. And there I stood with a full face of makeup, my sexiest piece of lingerie and tears streaming down my face. Lost, sad and confused. Was he leaving because I was fat? Did he no longer find me sexy? I looked in the mirror and all I saw was rolls, stretch marks, butterfly veins and a growing double chin. All of a sudden I forgot about all the problems that we had and the constant arguments. All I could focus on was how I failed as a woman. Maybe I should have worn more makeup, worked out more or satisfied his sexual desires every time he asked. Maybe then he wouldn't have left me. How did I cause this? It's not you, it's me? But was it really you?
You see ladies, for a long time my self worth, how I felt about myself and my sexiness was all dependent on him. It all depended on how he looked at me in the morning, if he said I was beautiful and if he could get it going at night. Growing up in a society focused on male satisfaction I knew the importance of honing my sensuality. But unfortunately, somewhere down the path of self acceptance my views of sensuality and sexuality warped. Somehow I went from the girl who celebrated the luscious curves God gave her to the girl who only love them when he did. The moment he no longer wanted or needed them it meant fixing in me what was wrong whether it was getting on the newest crash diet or buying the best body shaper around. How did I reach this point? Honestly I am not sure. But somehow I lost myself. And so there I stood once again wondering what I could do to make him desire me and come home.
Today I think back at that moment two years ago. Today I stand here, 30 pounds heavier with a lot more stretch marks and a few extra rolls. Today I stand here with a smile on my face and with a little sexy number from Adam & Eve thinking back at that moment. I think about the journey I've been on and how today I can stand here dressed in lingerie, a full face of makeup and feeling sexy as heck for no one else but myself. Yes, I will admit, bae did enjoy shooting this post but did I do this for him, nope! I did this one for me. I did this one for the girl who has always struggled with her weight. For the girl who used body shapers and great angles to shoot that perfect selfie. I did it for that girl who cried two years ago because he no longer desired her. I did it for the girl who lost her way and forgot that her sexiness was her own.
Ladies, I am here to tell you that don't need to wait until that special person comes into your life to get a little sexy number. You don't need to wait for him acknowledge you to book that sexy boudoir photo shoot. And you don't need to wait for him to tell you that you're sexy to feel it and know it in your soul. I am here to tell you that you are. Scars, weight, rolls, and marks – you are sexy. And your sexiness is not dependent on him!
About my look:
I know that not everyone is about the uber sexy and exposed look so for my shoot I wanted to pick three unique and individual pieces. First I will say I was shocked when I learned Adam & Eve actually carried plus size lingerie. I was even more shocked when I saw that the options were pretty diverse. From super duper sexy to more tamed and covered. Now in full disclaimer, I carefully reviewed the size chart for many and their items I liked and they varied greatly. I was a little nervous about fit so I opted for the largest size available in all of the items selected and I will say that for the most part the stretch was very generous. Below you will find my individual thoughts on each garment featured in this post.
First up: Silky Satin Lovers Dream
Ladies, this was one of my favs! I ordered this little number in a 3x/4x and I would say it’s probably ideal for a size 18/20. I love that this beautiful chemise had fully adjustable straps and was soft to the touch. I loved this because I felt it was easy and simple. I could comfortably wear this around the house or to bed, plus the lace panels made it very sexy without feeling overly exposed. Sometimes when investing in lingerie it feels like a one hit wonder but not with this one. This is something I will be reaching for often.
This set felt super sweet and flirty. I went with a size 3x/4x and on the top I felt it was a little large. I had to alter the traps to keep the girls in place. I loved, loved, LOVED that the undies had ties on the sides. And the hot pink color just made me feel super sassy and playful.
Last but not least: Josephine Leopard Print Chemise
This was the most versatile piece of the three I purchased. Yes I wore this to bed but also wore it out with jeans for a super sexy night out on the town. I love it when something can serve double duty. I also went with a size 3x/4x and felt it was perfect in the cup size but had a lot of stretch throughout the body. This could easily work for a larger size diva who wants something sexy-lisous but still wants to feel a little covered.
Looking to pickout something special for yourself? Make sure to check out the full selection of Adam & Eve lingerie and use code: SUITS for 50% off + free shipping on your first order!
There you have it ladies. I hope this post helped you see that your sexiness is dependent solely on one person – YOU!
How are you honing your sexiness?
The following post was sponsred by Adam & Eve but all the thoughts, experiences and opinions are my own.